POEM 195: AWFULLY BROKEN
I’ve seen butterflies zigzag around flowers
perching and sipping nectar
only to be trapped in the mouth of a toad.
I’ve felt the intense sweetness
of one soul mating another
and then peel apart with shocking fierceness,
I think life’s too long to have just one.
I’ve tasted honey in honeymoon
and danced salsa in my room:
but the loss holds a stronger stench doom,
that preceded the loss of you.
I’ve lost many and gained a few
I’ve pulled sundials off the blue
I’ve once with divinity been in sync,
and then lost touch with everything.
Like deep rooted guilt and inbred fear,
I’m a new moon afraid of light.
Like dreary tales I dread hold dear,
I’m flora bloom that see no night.
True that, I laughed, I loved, I live,
but oh, I lose me everyday!
although for peace I’m desperate,
For though I laugh, and love and live
and lean like lines on loose logs,
no tear erupts from my tear ducts,
and my burden lifted not at the foot of the cross.
I know there’s crimson left for me
though I run late and undecided.
Yet I cannot feel sorrow as deep as He’d love
before He lets lose my share of crimson.
I’m forgiven and already washed, maybe,
but I feel no single joy
for I am awfully broken,
beyond repair, maybe.