30, a collection of poems by Jaachi Anyatonwu banner

all I’ve ever known is this, 
this seemingly endless musing.
I may make it
although there’s nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
but it was cruel 
waking each day to be greeted
by the blankness of another page
why would the simplest of tasks
make me stumble over words?
Why do I have to daily defragment my mind though so exhausted?
why can’t the other day be the end?
I wondered, because I never knew
never knew what’s right from wrong
nor the right next rung
what to write when there’s nothing left,
washing my doubts and fears
like dried blood on a club
singing loud and clear the song
I’d planned to sing when today’s come
I can make it
On the seventy seventh,
I’d wave my wand and cast the spells
all rituals observed and fears expelled
one more, yet another, and another,
pretend, that all is well
so no one can tell
I got a share of wordruptcy,
and in someway somehow
the days, the delays, the doubts,
I made it
though I never thought much of what it takes
to wake each day this challenge,
I certainly saw some pretty dark days 
of fair shares of heartbreaks,
of smooth sails on rough waves,
of silence’s deafening shockwaves,
but the Lord has blessed me in many ways.
I made it
waddling through emptiness,
and staggering disappointments.
In the shadows of loneliness
and many blessed moments.
I made it,
to the end, crossing hopelessness,
and the constant critic in my head,
pray tell, why can’t I just lay down on cloud nine
and let my pens fall silent around me
while I nap, maybe forever
floating in the wings of victory?
I made it!
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Jaachi Anyatonwu
Jaachi Anyatonwu is a poet, editor, and publisher living in the suburbs of Aba. He is the author of numerous poetry chapbooks and collections, and the Editor-In-Chief of Poemify Publishers Inc. Jaachi is passionate about discovering new voices and mentoring emerging poets. He is also a fierce advocate for the boy child and sexually molested.

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