i wanted to be a good man
like the perfect picture of never man

i tried but then I got headaches,
hinging on the thoughts of another man

i had bad breaks,
running on the ideologies of everyone

i was rebuked for every trivia mistake,
trying to tally with the high stake

hard i worked for perfection, but grew cloyed,
tempted by sights that allure,
lured by appetites most gorged

by holy scripts and society graded,
my endeavors lambasted,
by people with secrets x-rated

failures and depressions awaited,
in every steep and every bend

…until i became one of them
of all that fuel their urges, learned,

…until i slipped into more vain,
of all what orgies that define norms, unlearned,

…until i remembered to bear my name,
of myself become aware, relearned

…until i became a broken gem
seeking no more validation

…until i became a fallen stem,
but cry no more for salvation



i know

we are not the same
in everything, and the few that remain,
is the variety that’s life’s beau

if i spend my lifetime,
reading the signs society leave in the sand of time

i will one day die,
to realize i left behind no trace of who I am,

but a replica of everyone, everything,
none of me

i quit!

30, a collection of poems by Jaachi Anyatonwu
Jaachị Anyatọnwụ
Jaachị Anyatọnwụ is a poet, editor, and publisher living in the suburbs of Aba. He is the author of numerous poetry chapbooks and collections, and the Editor-In-Chief of Poemify Publishers Inc. Jaachị is passionate about discovering new voices and mentoring emerging poets. He is also a fierce advocate for the boy child and sexually molested.

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