Instead of Quiet Quitting, Just Quit!
Have you ever felt like you’re just going through the motions in your relationship? Like you’re no longer invested, and you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop? If so, you’re not alone. Many people find themselves in this situation at some point in their lives. It is called quiet quitting.
I was Monday night June 12, 2023 years old when I learnt of the words “quiet quit.” My often random nightly binge reading let me into a website that addressed quiet quitting from a psychologist perspective. As usual, my thought wheel started spinning, and today’s newsletter is the end product.
What Is Quiet Quitting?
Quiet quitting a relationship happens when a partner contemplates ending a relationship without openly expressing their concerns or intentions. It is oftentimes characterized by unconscious emotional withdrawal, deliberate decreased investment, growing resentment, decreased sex apeal, and of course, budding dissatisfaction with your partner.
What Triggers Quiet Quitting?
Silent echoes of doubts, displeasure, and dissatisfaction, like the quoted ones below, can turn into a mountain desire to withdraw from your partner. You may say things like:
“I have been having the urge to quit and escape to someplace where I won’t have to worry about what my partner feels.”
“I wish my partner had it better but since they don’t, I am beginning to feel detactched.”
“Recently, I have been fantasising a lot about being single, imagining what my life without my partner or a different partner would look like.”
“Of late, I unconsciously deprive my partner of things I once effortlessly and passionately gave them.”
“I don’t think I can live with so much insecurity, uncertainties, and dishonesty in my relationship. Ending it might be the better option but I lack the courage.”
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There are a few different reasons why someone might start to quiet quit their relationship. Maybe they’re unhappy with their partner, but they’re afraid of conflict. Maybe they’re not sure if they want to end the relationship, but they’re not sure how to fix it. Or maybe they’re just tired of putting in the effort in a relationship whose future is seemingly bleak.
Whatever the reason, quiet quitting is never a good solution. It’s unfair to your partner, and it’s unfair to yourself. It’s also a lot more painful than just ending things cleanly.
If you’re thinking about quiet quitting your relationship, I urge you to reconsider. Instead, I encourage you to have a difficult conversation with your partner. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the only way to give your relationship a chance.
Before Quiet Quiting…
Here are a few tips for having a difficult conversation:
- Choose a time when you’re both calm and relaxed.
- Start by expressing your love and appreciation for your partner.
- Then, gently explain how you’re feeling. Be honest and open, but avoid blaming or criticizing your partner.
- Listen to your partner’s perspective withoutbeing judgemental or feeling attacked, and be willing to compromise.
- If you’re both willing to work at it, there’s a good chance that you can overcome whatever is causing you to want to quiet quit.
But if you’re not both willing to work at it, then it’s time to end things. Instead of quiet quitting, just quit. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s the best thing for both of you.
Remember, you have the right to be happy. If you’re not happy in your relationship, then you don’t have to stay. It’s okay to move on. Only be sure you aren’t shooting yourself in the foot putting an end to a beautiful story because the sweet plot twist you desire is taking a while to manifest.
Whatever the outcome, don’t forget to live, laugh, and love again.
With ❤️,
Jaachị Anyatọnwụ
