Love Is Not In The Person You Love, It’s In You

It fills you with dread, regardless of whether you are in a relationship or just single.

If in a relationship, there’s this expectation and pressure to express your love to your lover through acts of kindness or gift giving.

If single, Valentine reminds you of how sadly single you are. It creates a deep sense of loneliness and despair.

It’s Valentine again, don’t you think things should be different?

Why spend time and energy filling in a void in others whereas you’re as empty as an abyss?

Why actively attempt to go on dates with people that, you’re certain, have no genuine interest or connection with you?

Must you wallow in self-pity and cry over romance themed comedy movies while scrolling through Facebook walls, reading Valentine posts of others about their lovers?

Valentine is about love. Right? Love. Begins. With. You. Today, choose to spend Valentine’s Day joyfully single and alone. And by alone, I mean alone in embracing the idea that you are single and you LOVE it.

You do not need a partner to validate who you are. True love and happiness is not outside of you, in other people and material possessions. It. Is. In. You.

Although people and material possessions may bring us some happiness, that happiness is usually quite unsustainable.

Although people may bring us some love, but it’s a fleeting feeling and is gone with the last flutter of butterflies in your belly.

For this reason, you search again for the next adrenaline rush of love and happiness in other people and possessions.

However, once you begin to look within and invest in yourself, whether that is through poetry, meditation, journaling or music, you can cultivate a sense of authenticity and peace of mind.

True love and a deeper appreciation will come when you are in a loving relationship with yourself. Just like being in a relationship with someone else requires making a commitment to them, you have to make that exact same commitment to yourself every day.

You are the only person that holds the key to your heart, and it is up to you to unlock the beauty that lays inside. Refuse to spend another Valentine’s Day feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that you must be unlovable because you’re still single.

Love yourself and everything about you.

All your curves, or flat edges. All your flaws and imperfections. All the character defects that make you so imperfectly you.

If you can make this decision to consciously celebrate this day by investing in yourself, you will build a strong, loving relationship with who you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Author avatar
Jaachi Anyatonwu
Jaachi Anyatonwu is a poet from Nigeria. His writings are inspired by everyday happenings and observations with writings that cut across many genres like poetry, prose, essays and music. Jaachi loves to create rich content; creative writing tips, authorship tips, humorous stories and micro poems. He's the author of Sweetness, a collection of poems.

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