Why New Year Resolutions Are the Biggest Scam

Soon it shall be the “New Year Resolutions” season, that global annual ritual where we promise ourselves to become the best versions of, well, ourselves.

We start January with grand plans—hitting the gym, reviving prayer life, saving money, finishing a course, or finally learning that obscure language. And for a brief moment, it’s as if the entire world is about to turn into a collective TED Talk. But by mid-January, many of us are back to our old habits, munching on chips while binge-watching Netflix—most of those “new me” vibes in the trashcan of wishes, chilling with the wrapping paper from Christmas.

Statistics reveal that only 9% of people stick to their resolutions for the year. Most throw in the towel by February, with a staggering 43% expecting to fail before then.

So, are resolutions just a scam? Perhaps! They give us a fresh start but often fizzle out faster than a soda left open overnight. Not because we lack the ability to change but because we treat the calendar like it’s a magic wand.

Walk with me…

It’s December. Someone’s downing their fifth plate of party rice, swearing that January will bring salads and smoothies. By January 10th, they were back in line for peppery noodles, blaming “cold weather” for their lack of willpower.

Then there’s the fitness enthusiast-in-the-making. “I’ll hit the gym every day next year!” they say, confidently spending half their December salary on a membership. Three weeks in January, the gym is ghostlier than a haunted house in a bad horror film.

There’s the revivalist wannabe who spent the entire year listening to not gospel music. We couldn’t have known, but thanks to Spotify Wrap. It’s December, and they’re drawing a prayer life plan for next year. “I’ll take my prayer life seriously and study the Bible daily,” they resolve. But two weeks in, Asake has a new album, Netflix releases blockbusters, and there’s a new trending on TikTok. Prayer life in the mud!

And what about the financial revolutionaries? They plan to save aggressively, invest wisely, and stop splurging on unnecessary things. Yet, by mid-January, they’ve already bought three unnecessary gadgets and two impulse-sale items and are in debt.

Why do we do this to ourselves every single year?

We romanticise the idea of starting over so much that we forget that nothing changes unless we do. January isn’t some magical turn-of-events. It’s just another month. Sure, it’s wrapped in fireworks and prophetic declarations, but at its core, it’s no different from March or July. November aside though. It’s a special month!

We say, “Next year, I’ll…” like a genie is waiting at midnight to grant us a total personality makeover. LMfAO. No genie is coming, undears. The only thing waiting is your alarm clock and that to-do list you wrote in a frenzy of overconfidence and fireworks.

Still walking with me?

I know you know how it usually goes, but I need to paint a mental picture as you walk with me. So, here’s how it goes:

1. January 1–10: Enthusiasm is at 110%. You’re unstoppable.

2. January 11–15: Life happens. You miss one workout, skip a prayer session, or “accidentally” binge an entire series instead of studying.

3. January 16: Guilt sets in. You think, “I’ll start again next Monday.”

4. December 31: Whoops. There goes another year.

And then the cycle repeats.

So, what’s the alternative to new year resolutions?

Instead of waiting for January 1st to morph into a productivity ninja, why not start now? Today. This minute. Yes, even if it’s December, April, or August. Real change isn’t tied to dates. It’s tied to small, consistent actions that don’t care whether it’s a Tuesday or the first of the year.

Forget the flashy resolutions. Start with one simple goal.

Forget grand declarations. Just take one small step toward being better, whether it’s January, June, or some random Thursday at 3 p.m.

And hey, if you’re still itching for a resolution, here’s one: resolve to stop making resolutions.  You’ll thank me later.

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